Monday, December 31, 2007

Putting it all in perspective... **Tissue alert**

I was SO touched by this video.
This child has wisdom way beyond his years and is on his way to becoming an amazing man.
I can't begin to tell you what this clip made me feel... I hope it touches you as deeply as it did me.

Dec 31 Independence day!

My hubby and I finally decided enough was enough. We've had kids living at home for 34 years! Our time, energy, money and everything has been focused on and given to them. Now that the last ones home were nearing 21 and 22, we decided it was time to boot them out.

Not one of them has paid a cent to stay with us. Not one has acted like they appreciated the help or been willing to do so much as pick up after themselves without being asked. It's just been getting more aggravating the longer it went on.

So I saw my dr a couple weeks ago and she told me my blood pressure is rising, I'm a bundle of nerves, and I can either grow a back bone and boot the final kids out or she was going to stick me on a heavy duty anti depressant so I wouldn't care that my life was being overrun by ungrateful kids. Finally this got through to hubby and he's decided to stand beside me to make the changes we needed to make.

We gave the 2 kids still at home 2 weeks to move. They both have full time jobs, one has a son and the other is engaged... so it truly is time to grow up and leave home.

So today, Dec 31, is for me, Independence Day as the final one has packed up and moved his stuff out today. Now hubby and I will have privacy, quiet, space and time to focus on each other for the first time in far too long. I can't remember the last time I was so excited and hopeful heading into a new year.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

For the love of a dorkfish

I'm married to a dorkfish.
He's a good dorkfish, but a dorkfish none the less.
He will openly admit to being a dorkfish. I think in some twisted way he takes pride in it.
What qualifies him as a dorkfish? Let me count the ways.

1. He never washes anything. He WARSHES. I've asked him to show me the "r" in wash, and he agrees he can't, but that doesn't stop him from tossing one in whenever he says it.
2. He's the only man I know who claims to carry a "pocketbook". No, he's not "that" way... he actually carries what I'd call a truckers wallet with a chain to prevent losing the big heavy leather thing in some truck stop toilet... but to him it's a "pocketbook" and there's no way he'll call it anything else.
3. His feet can't be human. They're knobby and crooked and vein-y and well, quite frankly, just plain ugly! They also give off an odor that makes small children cry and grown men cringe. His toes are hairy, his nails yellow, and arches flat. They serve their purpose, but are about as appealing as a wet burlap bag.
4. He will replace a light switch without turning the power off. He claims the little zaps don't really hurt... just make him jump and curse a bit; and "it's quicker to just do it than to have to hunt down the right breaker for a 2 minute job".
5. He licks his lips before kissing me... so I have to wipe them or get slobbered on. After 25 yrs it's become automatic. He leans in, I wipe his dorkfish lips.
6. He devours anything sci-fi. Books, movies, theories of all types and truly understands all the terms and outlandish concepts. But give him a simple math problem and he's scrambling for his calculator and double checking his answer.
7. He jokes about his balding head, claims his hair roots have slid south to his ears... and makes fun of those who use products to encourage hair re-growth since that just means you have to spend more on cutting it back off.
8. He melts at the site of a newborn. Totally turns into a puddle of mush and gush.
9. He knows me, lives with me, and still loves me. Now how goofy is that?!?

Originally derived from a Bill Engvall CD, a dorkfish is a very strange looking fish whose upper jaw sticks out way farther than his lower jaw, that lives on corndogs in the ocean. Can be used to describe people who are a bit out of the mainstream school.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Forgiveness... not my strong point.

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in
the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things
were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when
he had a job.
His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him.
He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness
he had, that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger,
resentment, and frustration.
Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find,
knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree
to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his
eyes, he prayed:
'Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have
told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have
told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot, I don't know how.
It is not fair Lord, I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done
against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is
Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My
anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray you teach
me to do the one thing I cannot do: Teach me to forgive .'
As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt
something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the
corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn
to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large
square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet
held to the wood with a large spike through them.
He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus
hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a
torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw
the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the
man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.
'Have you ever told a lie?' He asked?
The man answered - 'Yes, Lord.'
'Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?'
The man answered - 'Yes. Lord.' And the man sobbed more and more.
'Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?' Jesus asked?
And the man answered, 'Yes, Lord.'
'Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?'
The man, crying now, answered - 'Yes, Lord.'
As Jesus asked many more times, 'Have you ever'? The man's crying
became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - 'Yes, Lord'.
Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt
something fall on his other shoulder He looked and saw that it was the
blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and
there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.
Jesus said, 'I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you.'
It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but
when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Dare I hope?

I'm half afraid to post this.
Don't want to jinx it...
yet NEED to share it.

I've had 3 (count that and weep) THREE adult children move back home over the past few months. Yes I love them. Yes I wanted to help and be here for them and understand that starting out can be rough. But THREE! Oh and I should mention I have a 2 bedroom house. Greg and I bought it to retire in by ourselves. It should have been plenty big considering he's only home 1.5 days a week.

So it was supposed to be me and my dogs with Greg getting conjugal visits on weekends in our cozy little 2 bedroom house. Instead it's been Katie using the second bedroom, Joel making do on the enclosed back porch and Doug sprawled out in the living room. You can tell by the desirability (or lack) of their accommodations who came back when.

Every closet is full. Every corner is filled. The garage and storage shed are overflowing while the cars and mowers sit dejectedly out in the snow. Naturally each of them has one (or 2) vehicles, so it looks like a used car lot outside. When Greg brings the semi tractor home for the weekend, they must all scatter like ants to make room.

So you get the picture. We're cramped beyond reason and living much closer to each other than is comfortable for any of us.

This weekend Katie plans to move out with her boyfriend. On Saturday they're looking at 2 apartments in town owned by the same man and are supposed to take their choice. Joel has announced he wants to take the one they don't so he and his fiance Shannon can move in together. Doug is hooking back up with his ex moving in with her and their son! She's in rent controlled housing so has been threatened with eviction if he continues to stay there, which they see as the golden opportunity to get out of her lease and get a place for the 3 of them.

So it's possible that within a week or 2 ALL the kids will have moved out!
I can finally have my space and sanity back!

My computer, craft table and sewing machine will go into Katies room, and her old bed will be out the door.
Our freezer, storage shelves and all the excess "stuff" from the rest of the house will go into Joels room. His old bed will be out the door.
The prevailing theme here is that there will be NO extra beds for anyone to come back to. If I thought Greg would allow it I'd remove the middle section of the couch so it would be too short to sleep on as well. ;)

My door will be locked to any and all long term overnight visitors. I will buy an inflatable mattress and when it runs out of air, you're GONE. One fill per stay.
I'm not holding my breath, but it looks possible that by Christmas I will finally have an empty nest. Dare I hope?

Monday, December 3, 2007

Nothing to say

Lately I've simply had nothing to say.
"Since when did that stop me" some might ask.

Too much going on.
A wedding to help plan for
Another grandchild on the way
Christmas coming soon
No decorating even started
Snow and ice slowing everything down
Once child in 3 moving out soon... of course the only one who actually helps around here
Just exhausted thinking about it all
Recording the Hallmark holiday chick flicks for a time when I can actually watch them
Scanning my email, using caller ID for screen out the non essential
While my brain is in overdrive and body in neutral